Sunday, February 1, 2015

dear diary - page two

I'm thinking about going to Sub City. There's the hustle and bustle, yes, and there's also the matter of getting my watches repaired. I have more than one, you see, and they're problematic. It's all their ticking and beeping. I don't know how to get them to stop. If watches could pause all on their own with no button pushing or winding, I could sit quietly and maybe even breathe a little. Or not. I don't know.

I tried to go to Sub City two weeks ago but I ended up in Graynel near the gas station. I didn't know how I got there. I only knew I was in the wrong place. I mean I felt I was in the wrong place, if you know what I mean. I told my brain to shape up but the thing about my brain is that it doesn't listen to me.

The idiots at the gas station were something to behold. They hadn't a clue! For instance, when I asked for directions to Sub City they pointed to the thoroughfare. I still haven't taken my watches for repair but at least I made it back from Graynel that day.

I've cut down on my intake. I allow myself half a chocolate bar each day. If I have a whole one I get a stomach ache. I drop a bread crumb onto my Hello Kitty watch when it's ticking and beeping too much. Believe it or not, it's a neat trick. Stops it cold. It's only temporary, and I like the pause.

I'm not sure about my magazines. Part of me feels they're totally useless. I flip through them, but they're full of show-offs. I get tired of the shiny faces and the articles that don't seem to do much for me except heighten my anxiety. Sometimes there's a rare page that comforts me or makes me feel like I can find myself, so that's one reason why I keep them.

I've got to go now. My watches are beeping again and I can't take it. I just want silence.


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