Monday, February 23, 2015

Nurses and Names

This afternoon a nurse named Pauline came to our house because we're in the process of updating our life insurance. She asked us some questions, weighed and measured us, checked our blood pressure, and poked us to collect some of our blood.

I like to do what I can to remember nurses' names because I have a lot of respect for them. Working with people can be difficult, and when people are in pain, whether emotional or physical, they have the tendency to behave in ways they normally wouldn't. For example, someone who's hurting might get snappy and irritable when they would otherwise be pleasant or easy-going. So I believe nurses need to have loads of patience and endurance.

I especially liked calling the nurses by their names after our oldest child, Tamara, was born. I stayed in the hospital longer than most because I was still in a great deal of pain (forceps birth). I didn't have to remember their names, of course, but I thought it would be more personable. It's been years now and I've long since forgotten them. That's okay, though, because of Grace.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Cotton Ball Parenting

I like to chat with elderly people to see if I might glean some gems of wisdom from them. I had one such occasion two days ago when a few of us were gathered for music and singing. I mentioned some parental tension I was experiencing—my desire to show our children forgiveness but wanting to discipline and teach them respect at the same time. Sometimes it appears those two things don't meld together. Oftentimes I don't feel like I'm being gracious toward my children when I'm getting after them for misbehaving. And I don't like that.

My elderly friend, with great tenderness, blinked her eyes, offered a tiny smile and told me, "Well, yes, you love them." And she said she found something similar going on between herself and her husband. He's been cynical lately and she's been struggling with it. She admitted she hasn't been treating him with all that much graciousness, but she's noticed she is being corrected as she goes. The main thing, she said, was to trust God and let her actions spring from there.

Parenting, then, is about awareness of Love. It's not about getting it right, but learning as we go. I think I'm at my parental best when I'm aware, when I love and forgive myself, when I believe we are all being cared for by One who loves us more than we understand.


Monday, February 9, 2015

Friday, February 6, 2015

Slam Dunk

Sebastian lied flat on his back, in the grass, beside and below a hammock that hung between two maple trees. He pushed a basketball up into the air from his chest and caught it again several times before extending his right arm and slamming it into the hammock.

That was the last he saw of it.

When in the kitchen he told his older brother what happened he refused to believe it. "What? You mean, like, it disappeared inside the hammock?"

"Yeah, come see! There's nothing there. It's gone." Sebastian led him to the hammock and said, "See?"

"You're tricking me. You hid it somewhere."

"No, I dunked it and it completely vanished!"

But the older brother still refused to believe it so he ran all over the yard, searching. When he returned empty-handed, Sebastian was leaning over a large pile of triangle shaped petalite crystals, some gray and some yellow.

"Where did you get those?" demanded the older brother. He was furious.

Sebastian said nothing and pointed to the hammock.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

dear diary - page two

I'm thinking about going to Sub City. There's the hustle and bustle, yes, and there's also the matter of getting my watches repaired. I have more than one, you see, and they're problematic. It's all their ticking and beeping. I don't know how to get them to stop. If watches could pause all on their own with no button pushing or winding, I could sit quietly and maybe even breathe a little. Or not. I don't know.

I tried to go to Sub City two weeks ago but I ended up in Graynel near the gas station. I didn't know how I got there. I only knew I was in the wrong place. I mean I felt I was in the wrong place, if you know what I mean. I told my brain to shape up but the thing about my brain is that it doesn't listen to me.

The idiots at the gas station were something to behold. They hadn't a clue! For instance, when I asked for directions to Sub City they pointed to the thoroughfare. I still haven't taken my watches for repair but at least I made it back from Graynel that day.

I've cut down on my intake. I allow myself half a chocolate bar each day. If I have a whole one I get a stomach ache. I drop a bread crumb onto my Hello Kitty watch when it's ticking and beeping too much. Believe it or not, it's a neat trick. Stops it cold. It's only temporary, and I like the pause.

I'm not sure about my magazines. Part of me feels they're totally useless. I flip through them, but they're full of show-offs. I get tired of the shiny faces and the articles that don't seem to do much for me except heighten my anxiety. Sometimes there's a rare page that comforts me or makes me feel like I can find myself, so that's one reason why I keep them.

I've got to go now. My watches are beeping again and I can't take it. I just want silence.