Thursday, January 15, 2015
My Halo is Bent
I would like to make your life all better. Immediately. I would really like to do that.
Except I can't.
I can't because I'm a human being and, as you've possibly noticed, humans are limited and mostly selfish. Another word to describe that? Fallen.
I would also like to stop being the apparent cause for one of your sore spots right now. That would be nice because I don't take pleasure in other people's pain. But I think I'd have to stop existing in order for that to happen, and something tells me there's a tiny part of you that wants me to stick around.
Maybe there's also a part of you that wants me to choke on sparkles until I'm blue in the face, seeing as though I'm a little waif who couldn't possibly know real suffering. At least not compared to you.
Um... well... here's what I can do. I can keep on writing to you. I can listen to your stories or woes and rages as well as I know how. I can try to understand. I can keep on doing my art.
I can try to be kind and supportive, but sooner or later I will either disappoint you or offend you. And I've probably offended you plenty of times already. Not because I want to harm you.
Here's what I know about getting offended. There's always choice and perception involved. You choose what you get offended about.
I believe these kinds of exchanges are sacred even if I do annoy you. The climb is steep and daunting, but you've already endured so much and I think your journey is more beautiful than you can presently see. And that's just... okay. It doesn't mean you're any worse than the next person.
It's going to be slow. Learning and healing go hand-in-hand.
I can journey with you the best I know how, if you'll let me.