Dear person full of pain:
Have you begun opening any of your boxes? I'm going to guess... probably.
If you haven't found your encouraging helper yet, it could mean there's a specific box in your way that's keeping you from recognizing him or her. Or maybe you do kinda see, but you're up against a heavy box that's hindering your receptivity. It will need to be identified and opened.
When dealing with your boxes, your honesty is crucial. It's important to be truthful with yourself, but it's even more important to be honest with your helper.
The honesty I'm talking about has to do with teeny weeny movements. I'm guessing that, for you—because you're hurting a lot—communicating your truths feels like a scary idea. That's okay. Why don't you start there? Let your helper know that being honest makes you feel like a crazy person.
I say it's better to be a crazy person telling the truth than a sane one living a lie. Really, it's the sane people who can be the most destructive.
Sometimes expressing yourself honestly involves fumbling around. It's hard to know, at first, what a teeny weeny movement is supposed to look like. Here's one suggestion: share with your helper what emotions you're experiencing at the moment and why you think you're feeling them.
When you fumble around or get confused, I think that means you're facing the resistance. It's important that you don't keep your confusion to yourself. Let your helper know when you're experiencing it, so he or she can work with you to cut away some of that resistance.
I think if you're reading this it means you're brave enough to participate in the slow process of letting go. That's amazing and beautiful.
Never give up, beloved one.